When I was a teenager, I used to vehemently share my opinion. Oftentimes without being asked. I felt it was appropriate to go around, putting my two cents worth in, even when it wasn't asked for. I saw no problem with this, after all, my opinion was the correct one--or so I thought.
As I have gotten older, and hopefully wiser, I now see that this is not true. My opinion is not always right, nor do I feel the need to express it to others as I once did. As my Mom always told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Difficult words to swallow, but necessary and prudent indeed.
Very recently, I was slammed with cruel, opinionated words from another Christian. This person was putting me down in front of a number of people--my 11 year-old daughter being one of them. My first response was to immediately lash out, but I did not. The teenage Danielle was rising up within me. Had the individual said what they said to me 15 or 16 years ago, I would have had a much different response.
Thankfully, older Danielle took the wheel and began to pray for the person. How sad it was that this person had to say these hurtful things to me! I immediately starting thinking: Is this person having a bad day? Are they feeling bad about themselves? Are they wanting me to feel bad about myself and have a bad day too, so that they wouldn't be alone? Are they crying out for help? Whatever the reason, it certainly wasn't a good one. This person should have exercised self-control.
I could have thrown my own self-control out the window, but I chose not to. Instead, I simply responded that what they said was not kind, and I went on. I prayed. I told my daughter not to think another thing of it. After all, it wasn't really me that was looking bad at this point, it was the other person. The people around us immediately saw a picture of what was in the other person's heart. Instead of responding in bitterness, I exercised love.
Now, I am not tooting my own horn here. I could easily have let the flesh take over. It certainly was a temptation. Especially with the fact that my daughter heard these comments. But the Lord gave me wisdom. He reminded me of a very important scripture in Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." Self-control (although that exact wording is not what is used in the KJV), is one of these fruits of the Spirit. The Lord kept reminding me to use that God-given, God-breathed, God-commanded fruit. I did, and I am thankful for it.
While I may never get over those "teenage Danielle" tendencies completely, I can be rest-assured that God will be there to remind me to exercise those fruits on a daily basis. His sweet Spirit within me will encourage me to repay bitterness with kindness, ugly words with words of love, and inappropriate expressions of opinions with God-given facts.
God is love. Let us be more like Him!
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