When I was a teenager, I used to vehemently share my opinion. Oftentimes without being asked. I felt it was appropriate to go around, putting my two cents worth in, even when it wasn't asked for. I saw no problem with this, after all, my opinion was the correct one--or so I thought.
As I have gotten older, and hopefully wiser, I now see that this is not true. My opinion is not always right, nor do I feel the need to express it to others as I once did. As my Mom always told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Difficult words to swallow, but necessary and prudent indeed.
Very recently, I was slammed with cruel, opinionated words from another Christian. This person was putting me down in front of a number of people--my 11 year-old daughter being one of them. My first response was to immediately lash out, but I did not. The teenage Danielle was rising up within me. Had the individual said what they said to me 15 or 16 years ago, I would have had a much different response.
Thankfully, older Danielle took the wheel and began to pray for the person. How sad it was that this person had to say these hurtful things to me! I immediately starting thinking: Is this person having a bad day? Are they feeling bad about themselves? Are they wanting me to feel bad about myself and have a bad day too, so that they wouldn't be alone? Are they crying out for help? Whatever the reason, it certainly wasn't a good one. This person should have exercised self-control.
I could have thrown my own self-control out the window, but I chose not to. Instead, I simply responded that what they said was not kind, and I went on. I prayed. I told my daughter not to think another thing of it. After all, it wasn't really me that was looking bad at this point, it was the other person. The people around us immediately saw a picture of what was in the other person's heart. Instead of responding in bitterness, I exercised love.
Now, I am not tooting my own horn here. I could easily have let the flesh take over. It certainly was a temptation. Especially with the fact that my daughter heard these comments. But the Lord gave me wisdom. He reminded me of a very important scripture in Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." Self-control (although that exact wording is not what is used in the KJV), is one of these fruits of the Spirit. The Lord kept reminding me to use that God-given, God-breathed, God-commanded fruit. I did, and I am thankful for it.
While I may never get over those "teenage Danielle" tendencies completely, I can be rest-assured that God will be there to remind me to exercise those fruits on a daily basis. His sweet Spirit within me will encourage me to repay bitterness with kindness, ugly words with words of love, and inappropriate expressions of opinions with God-given facts.
God is love. Let us be more like Him!
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Being Authentic
These past few days, my mind keeps going back to the term "authentic." The term itself can have many different meanings, depending on the context in which it is used. She has an authentic Dooney and Bourke bag. Those jeans are the authentic brand we were looking for. The architecture has an authentic feel to it. What about using the word authentic to describe ourselves? How authentic are you?
These questions have triggered a whirlwind of thoughts within my own mind lately. I have begun questioning my own authenticity. Now, I am not saying I am fake. I despise "fakeness." If you know me well at all, then you know that what you see is what you get. I am a weirdo--you know, one of those "English types." Those people that diagram sentences in their head, and have autocorrect built into their brain. I like to talk. I enjoy church. I love my family. I crave reading books--all kinds of books. I get a kick out of inside jokes, laughing, and educational banter.
Being your own individual is all well and good, but the question remains, "Am I authentic?" Do I allow others to think that I've got it all together, that my life is perfect, and that I don't need anyone's help? The truth is, I don't have it all together, my life isn't perfect, and I do need help from others. If we were all honest with ourselves, we would all admit that life is not a bed of roses or a walk through the park.
So, what is keeping us from being authentic? What is holding us back from being real and no longer pretending? Is it pride? Fear of rejection? Fear of being judged or called names? Fear of self-loathing?
The thing holding me back was (and still is) the fear of being judged. I am and have always been afraid of being judged. What will people think if my hair is out of place? What will they say if my children misbehave? If my car isn't spotless? If I am not the perfect wife, mother, coworker, or friend? What will people think?
While it is important to do all things to the best of your ability, it is not important that you be perfect at everything! That would wear anyone out. Life is not a competition. It is not a game. It is about building those important relationships with your family and friends. The important thing is that you are real--authentic--in your day-to-day life and in dealing with people.
What's holding you back today? Overcome it, go out, and be real. Be brave. Be authentic. After all, you are the only you there is and ever will be!
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~C.G. Jung
“Nothing is more attractive than being your authentic self!” ~Dawn Gluskin
These questions have triggered a whirlwind of thoughts within my own mind lately. I have begun questioning my own authenticity. Now, I am not saying I am fake. I despise "fakeness." If you know me well at all, then you know that what you see is what you get. I am a weirdo--you know, one of those "English types." Those people that diagram sentences in their head, and have autocorrect built into their brain. I like to talk. I enjoy church. I love my family. I crave reading books--all kinds of books. I get a kick out of inside jokes, laughing, and educational banter.
Being your own individual is all well and good, but the question remains, "Am I authentic?" Do I allow others to think that I've got it all together, that my life is perfect, and that I don't need anyone's help? The truth is, I don't have it all together, my life isn't perfect, and I do need help from others. If we were all honest with ourselves, we would all admit that life is not a bed of roses or a walk through the park.
So, what is keeping us from being authentic? What is holding us back from being real and no longer pretending? Is it pride? Fear of rejection? Fear of being judged or called names? Fear of self-loathing?
The thing holding me back was (and still is) the fear of being judged. I am and have always been afraid of being judged. What will people think if my hair is out of place? What will they say if my children misbehave? If my car isn't spotless? If I am not the perfect wife, mother, coworker, or friend? What will people think?
While it is important to do all things to the best of your ability, it is not important that you be perfect at everything! That would wear anyone out. Life is not a competition. It is not a game. It is about building those important relationships with your family and friends. The important thing is that you are real--authentic--in your day-to-day life and in dealing with people.
What's holding you back today? Overcome it, go out, and be real. Be brave. Be authentic. After all, you are the only you there is and ever will be!
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~C.G. Jung
“Nothing is more attractive than being your authentic self!” ~Dawn Gluskin
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Taking Time
Everyone, it seems, is always in a hurry. We hurry about through the grocery store, the drive-thru, the stoplight as it's turning yellow (guilty). Oftentimes, our "rush through the to-do list" attitude causes us to miss out on life. We get into such a hurry that we forget to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak.
What if we just slowed down a little? What if we took the time to listen? Not only to those around us, or to nature, but to God? The Lord desires that we do this.
Psalm 46:10 reads, "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."
I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to rushing about through life. I usually have a to-do list a mile long, so I have very little time to spare on most days. I have told my children (and husband) to "Hurry up!" on more than one occasion. I have rushed through my daily devotion, hoping that the Lord would bless me. Rushing through my devotion usually resulted in the Lord saying to me, "Really, Danielle? That's all you've got? After all that I have done for you, you give Me five minutes and a cookie-cutter prayer? You can do better!"
I can do better, and I am trying to change that. I am making a concentrated effort to take the time--to spend time with the Lord, to listen, to laugh, to love, to fellowship. I am finding that the rewards are instantaneous. You learn things about people that you never knew before. You get the chance to share the love of Jesus with the stranger in the grocery store. You get to be a blessing to someone instead of bypassing them to the express lane.
I challenge you to join me. Take time for God today--no more drive-thru devotions. Take the time to listen, to laugh, to love, to fellowship, or to be a blessing to someone. You might just surprise yourself.
What if we just slowed down a little? What if we took the time to listen? Not only to those around us, or to nature, but to God? The Lord desires that we do this.
Psalm 46:10 reads, "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."
I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to rushing about through life. I usually have a to-do list a mile long, so I have very little time to spare on most days. I have told my children (and husband) to "Hurry up!" on more than one occasion. I have rushed through my daily devotion, hoping that the Lord would bless me. Rushing through my devotion usually resulted in the Lord saying to me, "Really, Danielle? That's all you've got? After all that I have done for you, you give Me five minutes and a cookie-cutter prayer? You can do better!"
I can do better, and I am trying to change that. I am making a concentrated effort to take the time--to spend time with the Lord, to listen, to laugh, to love, to fellowship. I am finding that the rewards are instantaneous. You learn things about people that you never knew before. You get the chance to share the love of Jesus with the stranger in the grocery store. You get to be a blessing to someone instead of bypassing them to the express lane.
I challenge you to join me. Take time for God today--no more drive-thru devotions. Take the time to listen, to laugh, to love, to fellowship, or to be a blessing to someone. You might just surprise yourself.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Craving Godly Consistency in Life's Irregularities
Routine. Order. Consistency. I have a "hankering" for, a craving for, a desire to possess these characteristics in my daily life. They are necessary for my sanity to remain intact, and essential to the well-being of all those around me. If any of these fall through, Lord help those who are unfortunate enough to be around me when they do!
My Type-A personality leaves little room for irregularities; however, life doesn't always work out quite that way. I am a mother and a middle school teacher. Irregularities seem to be popping up everywhere these days. It's as if the Lord has designed these quirky irregularities to come into my life to teach me something. Perhaps that is true--because they certainly have!
Looking at the irregularities that have occurred in my life (at least in the past 12 months), I can definitely see God's hand in every one of them. In the initial facing of these, I became greatly discouraged. Greatly discouraged. Discouraged to the point of giving up a time or two. It was in those times that He spoke to me and said, "Danielle, I am your consistency. I am the only consistent thing in your life. Lean on me. Depend on me. I am."
It is beyond difficult for me to depend on anyone or anything. This is just the way that I am wired. God, however, requires that I lean on Him.
1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."
I will be the first to admit that leaning on God is difficult for me. It is not really a trust issue--I trust Him completely. I have managed, throughout my life, to create this false sense of dependency on myself. I have always felt like I could control any situation that comes my way. If something was wrong, I would fix it myself. If I was having a bad day, I would try to fix it by praying and eating chocolate (another blog post for another day). If I was feeling depressed, I could be encouraged by scripture or go out and buy myself some new earrings or a venti latte. If I was sad, I could watch a funny movie or read an inspiring book. These "fixes" are temporary and inconsistent. What I crave is Godly consistency--the kind of consistency that never fails!
When you really think about it, human consistency is an oxymoron. Humans are not consistent! We fail. We falter. We disappoint. Godly consistency, on the other hand is the only true consistency there is. He never fails. He never falters. He never disappoints.
Lamentations 3:22 says, "It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not."
Allow Godly consistency to rule your life. Hand it all over to Him. I close today with lyrics from Kristian Stanfill's song, "One Thing Remains."
Higher than the mountains
That I face
Stronger than the power
Of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
One thing remains
Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me
Your love.
In death, in life
I'm confident and covered
By the power of Your great love
My debt is paid
There's nothing that can separate
My heart from Your great love
My Type-A personality leaves little room for irregularities; however, life doesn't always work out quite that way. I am a mother and a middle school teacher. Irregularities seem to be popping up everywhere these days. It's as if the Lord has designed these quirky irregularities to come into my life to teach me something. Perhaps that is true--because they certainly have!
Looking at the irregularities that have occurred in my life (at least in the past 12 months), I can definitely see God's hand in every one of them. In the initial facing of these, I became greatly discouraged. Greatly discouraged. Discouraged to the point of giving up a time or two. It was in those times that He spoke to me and said, "Danielle, I am your consistency. I am the only consistent thing in your life. Lean on me. Depend on me. I am."
It is beyond difficult for me to depend on anyone or anything. This is just the way that I am wired. God, however, requires that I lean on Him.
1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."
I will be the first to admit that leaning on God is difficult for me. It is not really a trust issue--I trust Him completely. I have managed, throughout my life, to create this false sense of dependency on myself. I have always felt like I could control any situation that comes my way. If something was wrong, I would fix it myself. If I was having a bad day, I would try to fix it by praying and eating chocolate (another blog post for another day). If I was feeling depressed, I could be encouraged by scripture or go out and buy myself some new earrings or a venti latte. If I was sad, I could watch a funny movie or read an inspiring book. These "fixes" are temporary and inconsistent. What I crave is Godly consistency--the kind of consistency that never fails!
When you really think about it, human consistency is an oxymoron. Humans are not consistent! We fail. We falter. We disappoint. Godly consistency, on the other hand is the only true consistency there is. He never fails. He never falters. He never disappoints.
Lamentations 3:22 says, "It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not."
Allow Godly consistency to rule your life. Hand it all over to Him. I close today with lyrics from Kristian Stanfill's song, "One Thing Remains."
Higher than the mountains
That I face
Stronger than the power
Of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
One thing remains
Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me
Your love.
In death, in life
I'm confident and covered
By the power of Your great love
My debt is paid
There's nothing that can separate
My heart from Your great love
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Finding Jesus
I have struggled with whether or not I should share this publicly. There are so many things in our lives that are reserved to be private, and to be honest, I wasn't sure if I was ready to share this or not. My children are precious to me. Their sweet little souls are priceless rubies in my eyes. I am very careful with what I share about the "inner workings" of our little home, as what transpires there is a common thread woven between the hearts of each person in our home.
Last Thursday night, my baby boy (age 7) accepted Jesus as his Savior. I cannot begin to describe the joy that enters my heart at remembering this special night. Hunter had been asking lots of questions about Jesus, salvation, heaven, and hell for several months--questions that typical 7 year-old boys don't ask. His humble spirit was an encouragement to me as I tried to answer all his probing questions.
His questions were answered by the evangelist at our revival last week. Hunter continued his barrage of questions throughout the services. What does fellowship mean, Mom? How come Paul loved Jesus so much? How do I show that I love Jesus as much as Paul did? He was relentless, but I was loving it! When the evangelist said that he felt someone needed to make a move, my precious little man tugged on my arm, looked at me with those knowing, beautiful blue eyes, and said, "I need to make a move, Mom. I want to be saved." I went with him to the altar to accept Jesus. My daughter, Paige, also came with us to pray for her baby brother. We were all moved to tears, as he prayed earnestly to Jesus to save his soul.
What a blessing my children are to me! Now, I can rest in the assurance that I will spend eternity with them.
"But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." ~Matthew 19:14
Last Thursday night, my baby boy (age 7) accepted Jesus as his Savior. I cannot begin to describe the joy that enters my heart at remembering this special night. Hunter had been asking lots of questions about Jesus, salvation, heaven, and hell for several months--questions that typical 7 year-old boys don't ask. His humble spirit was an encouragement to me as I tried to answer all his probing questions.
His questions were answered by the evangelist at our revival last week. Hunter continued his barrage of questions throughout the services. What does fellowship mean, Mom? How come Paul loved Jesus so much? How do I show that I love Jesus as much as Paul did? He was relentless, but I was loving it! When the evangelist said that he felt someone needed to make a move, my precious little man tugged on my arm, looked at me with those knowing, beautiful blue eyes, and said, "I need to make a move, Mom. I want to be saved." I went with him to the altar to accept Jesus. My daughter, Paige, also came with us to pray for her baby brother. We were all moved to tears, as he prayed earnestly to Jesus to save his soul.
What a blessing my children are to me! Now, I can rest in the assurance that I will spend eternity with them.
"But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." ~Matthew 19:14
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Sandpaper and Stark-Raving Lunatics
Patience. Something that I have never really had much of. My personality has never really been one to cultivate patience.
As a child, I was very vocal and would immediately let my opinion be known. I had no patience to hear the opinion of others. I felt like the louder I spoke, the more people would have to agree with me. Generally, they did. All was well.
As a teenager, I began to develop more patience for all things. I waited tables at a local family restaurant, and I knew that if I didn't practice the art of patience, I could count on my tips being minimal at night's end. I began to see the importance of patience.
As a young adult, I became extremely impatient. I wanted to hurry and get married. I wanted to hurry and start a family. I wanted to hurry and get my B.A., M.A., and Ed.S. In the midst of all this hurrying about, I did do all those things. One thing that failed to stick? Patience--remembering the importance of it, remembering to cultivate it, and remembering to practice it.
I found my lack of patience rearing its ugly head last night--again--on my poor husband. Bless his heart, he takes it well most days, but some days not so much. Fortunately, last night was one of those nights where he took it well. I was ranting, fussing, and pretty much just being a stark-raving lunatic. Over sandpaper. Really? I have lost my mind! Sometimes I wonder if some alien has taken over my usually even-keeled brain.
The ugly feelings that followed were those of embarrassment, remorse, and just sheer stupidity. My husband managed to say "I love you" back to me when I said it to him. Now, I am certain he didn't want to say those words to me, BUT HE DID. He looked beyond my ranting, fussing, and pretty much being a stark-raving lunatic to the wife he loves. I am thankful for that.
Jesus loves us in this same manner. We hurry about through life ranting, fussing, and acting like stark-raving lunatics. Really. We fuss when things don't go quite as planned. We rant when someone hurts our feelings. We act like stark-raving lunatics over trivial matters like sandpaper. But Jesus see through all that. He sees our heart that loves Him dearly. He loves us, despite our faults.
Now, the fact that Jesus loves us is not our license to go out and act like I did. Jesus calls us to a higher standard than that. He just loves us through it and despite it. He molds us and makes us what He'd have us to be--IF WE LET HIM.
1 Corinthians 13:11-13 says:
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."
I think I'll be staying away from sandpaper for a while. Just to be safe.
As a child, I was very vocal and would immediately let my opinion be known. I had no patience to hear the opinion of others. I felt like the louder I spoke, the more people would have to agree with me. Generally, they did. All was well.
As a teenager, I began to develop more patience for all things. I waited tables at a local family restaurant, and I knew that if I didn't practice the art of patience, I could count on my tips being minimal at night's end. I began to see the importance of patience.
As a young adult, I became extremely impatient. I wanted to hurry and get married. I wanted to hurry and start a family. I wanted to hurry and get my B.A., M.A., and Ed.S. In the midst of all this hurrying about, I did do all those things. One thing that failed to stick? Patience--remembering the importance of it, remembering to cultivate it, and remembering to practice it.
I found my lack of patience rearing its ugly head last night--again--on my poor husband. Bless his heart, he takes it well most days, but some days not so much. Fortunately, last night was one of those nights where he took it well. I was ranting, fussing, and pretty much just being a stark-raving lunatic. Over sandpaper. Really? I have lost my mind! Sometimes I wonder if some alien has taken over my usually even-keeled brain.
The ugly feelings that followed were those of embarrassment, remorse, and just sheer stupidity. My husband managed to say "I love you" back to me when I said it to him. Now, I am certain he didn't want to say those words to me, BUT HE DID. He looked beyond my ranting, fussing, and pretty much being a stark-raving lunatic to the wife he loves. I am thankful for that.
Jesus loves us in this same manner. We hurry about through life ranting, fussing, and acting like stark-raving lunatics. Really. We fuss when things don't go quite as planned. We rant when someone hurts our feelings. We act like stark-raving lunatics over trivial matters like sandpaper. But Jesus see through all that. He sees our heart that loves Him dearly. He loves us, despite our faults.
Now, the fact that Jesus loves us is not our license to go out and act like I did. Jesus calls us to a higher standard than that. He just loves us through it and despite it. He molds us and makes us what He'd have us to be--IF WE LET HIM.
1 Corinthians 13:11-13 says:
"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."
I think I'll be staying away from sandpaper for a while. Just to be safe.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Do I Judge?
Stress. How do you relieve it? Time in prayer? Reading your Bible? Talking to friends? Here lately, I have been relieving stress by doing a lot of praying and reading. I have been reading Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst. Lysa's work with Proverbs 31 ministries has been a great blessing in my life. Her books are "quick reads" with deep meanings.
While reading today, I came across an important point that I feel all women (and most men if they're honest) struggle with: judging others. Now, I know what you're thinking: I don't judge others. I don't talk about anyone. Well, careful with those thoughts!
Lysa brings to light that talking about others is not the only form of judging. Seeing a child having a temper tantrum and thinking, "Well, that child should be disciplined more. That mother needs to do [insert disciplinary method here]." These thoughts are judgmental also.
Our words are important. We should use them to build up others rather than tearing them down. Instead of judging the mother having a difficult time, offer her assistance. Instead of talking about that co-worker that "gets under your skin", offer them a smile. Use your words for Jesus. Don't let your words be used against Him.
Happy Tuesday!
While reading today, I came across an important point that I feel all women (and most men if they're honest) struggle with: judging others. Now, I know what you're thinking: I don't judge others. I don't talk about anyone. Well, careful with those thoughts!
Lysa brings to light that talking about others is not the only form of judging. Seeing a child having a temper tantrum and thinking, "Well, that child should be disciplined more. That mother needs to do [insert disciplinary method here]." These thoughts are judgmental also.
Our words are important. We should use them to build up others rather than tearing them down. Instead of judging the mother having a difficult time, offer her assistance. Instead of talking about that co-worker that "gets under your skin", offer them a smile. Use your words for Jesus. Don't let your words be used against Him.
Happy Tuesday!
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